"I feel stuck", "I don't know what to do", "I don't want to hurt this person", "I don't have a choice", "I feel bad", "how do I stay friends with this person"...
How can we be and what can we do in moments when we feel like we are at a crossroads and no longer able to repeat the same pattern or loop in a relationship? The dysregulating loop is brought to our awareness (for us), but we won't let go. Instead we try to hang on to people, jobs, places, things, relationships because our mind says "but I have to" or "I want to be nice to everyone" or "I don't want to cause problems" or "I like helping".
Is it possible to invite ourselves to go to our higher selves in that present moment. To a greater perspective to see that if we are moving towards our heart in love that there might be people, places, jobs, things that might not be aligned with us that come into our awareness? That those exact things are helping us to become more of ourselves. More of our truth. More of our authentic way of being? If it's not there to hurt us and make us suffer, then can we open the door to allowing it to show us a new way of being...The Way, more of our true self?
By allowing this energetic door to open, we allow more choices in situations that we feel there was previously no choice at all. We start to see more opportunities to bring us back home to remember who we really are.
New choices can open doors to:
- Can I accept the situation for exactly as it is? My body, mind and soul are in loving acceptance of this situation.
- Can I say or do something? For example, set boundaries or open our heart to sharing our personal needs and feelings in that moment to keep the person in our life.
- Can I leave the conversation or situation in that moment (when we feel triggered and reactive)? Or maybe we are leaving the friendship or relationship more permanently.
Remember, it's just for this present moment...not next week, next month, next year. Try not to control the future. We are just being in this exact moment.
The power of choice helps us to reframe our inner narrative (and maybe the narrative we tell others) about how we move forward on our path to remembering who we are and our purpose in life of being love.
Love might require difficult conversations, difficult choices, people not liking us, being the villain in someone else's story, and accessing and expressing emotions that we once suppressed or ignored.
Remember that love won't be repeating loops of self sacrificing, people pleasing, building inner resentment or bitterness, triggering and dysregulating us, overwhelming us or feeling like we are bogged down in life. Those are the exact crossroads to help us undo the layers of mind habits, survival strategies, behaviours and patterns to help us remember the truth of our inner authentic being...of love.
Remember...our mind separates, fears, and labels. Our heart loves, accepts and sees oneness.
Stay soft, stay gentle, stay kind.
With an open and grateful heart,
Melissa
48: Choices When You Feel Like There's No Choice